Results of any training are always specific to you, and this couldn't apply more to mindfulness training. Comparison kills as they say. It certainly does with anyone who undertakes the Finding Peace in a Frantic World training, and to imagine that every student on a mindfulness course will finish up at the same point once your 8 week training is over would be naive.
Results and testimonials in just a moment. First some important background.
One of the mantras of a good mindfulness teacher is to 'honour where you are'. This is something I say repeatedly throughout the course, as it is all too easily forgotten. We normally explore it in some depth, as - nice a cliche as it might be - there is a more profound meaning.
I'd heard it said a few times, but the instance it most resonated with me was at the end of Chris Cullen's masterclass on teaching the Finding Peace in the Workplace. Throughout that weekend training it had been easy for me to doubt myself. I was 'just' an IBMer among very experienced, very knowledgable mindfulness teachers who were here to hone their skills in this specific area. My imposter syndrome started to loom large. What was I even doing here? I wasn't fit to lace the boots of these people! During periods of silence that weekend I sat and just observed the thoughts going through my head.
There were excited thoughts, no doubt, but there were also some thoughts that compared myself to those around me. If M&S had advertised this weekend, they'd have said this isn't just any masterclass, this is a University of Oxford masterclass. Held at St Hugh's College no less, whose notable alumni included our then Prime Minister Theresa May and international human rights barrister Amal Clooney.
One of the great things you learn in mindfulness training is the ability to be aware of your thoughts before you act on them. Another great thing you learn is to question negative thoughts. Are they the rigid facts they profess to be or just passing mental phenomena that, when allowed to come and go, pass by like clouds drifting across the sky? The challenge is of course that these thoughts that are so powerful and instinctive they often profess not just to be true but to be fully worth investing our entire attention in. American author and mindfulness teacher Byron Katie adds a beautiful extra question when interrogating these adhesive negative thoughts. The question is "Do you absolutely know it to be true?"
So as I sat on my bed that evening in the halls of residence I did a little inquiry. These doubting thoughts - 'you don't belong here', 'others will think you shouldn't be here, 'you're not good enough to study at Oxford with these people', 'you won't be able to teach this' - would they survive the Byron Katie test?
Are the thoughts true I asked myself?
'Of course' was the immediate response, along with the implication that they wouldn't have been thought if they weren't true....
Do I absolutely know them to be true I asked myself?
Hmmm....difficult question that one.....eventually, reluctantly, the answer came....well, no you don't absolutely know them to be true, no.
This was enough to just put a little space between these thoughts and the reality I had attached to them....if I don't absolutely know them to be true, there's at least a chance they're not?
When at the end of the weekend training we gathered in a circle and Chris uttered the words 'Just honour where you are, wherever you are is right for you at this time' I felt the negativity of those doubts melt away and an underlying sense of contentment shine through. Maybe I was in the right place. Completely the right place. Maybe I could do this, maybe I could turn my passion into something I love doing. I smiled to myself.
Whilst it's great to come to mindfulness training with a desire to feel less stressed, sleep better, lower your blood pressure or feel less anxious or depressed, we have to temper this desire with a patience and a willingness to judge over the longer term. 'Please only look back and reflect at the end of the 8 weeks' I implore my students. 'Try not to micro measure your progress or set too many milestones. We're working with the human mind here not a Microsoft Project plan. You are all individuals with completely differing starting points, this isn't a race'. I find that if you set (and reinforce) the right expectation with people they are generally less hard on themselves and this is powerful when it comes to making progress.
And so to what really matters. What do the people that have been on this course really think. Has it made any difference at all to their lives?
The results of teaching Finding Peace in a Frantic World at IBM have been nothing short of incredible. Better than I could've hoped or imagined.
When people thank me, whilst it feels spine tinglingly good to read their emails or listen to their words I always remind them that they did the work. My job as a teacher is to point them in the right direction, to share a wisdom based upon over 2,500 years of practice, to invite them to have a go at what we've learned and to 'hold' them and guide them throughout the eight weeks. The rest, of course, is up to them.
Whilst there are some fuller accounts on the Testimonials page of this website as well as recommendations on my LinkedIn profile, here are some direct quotes from IBMers who have given their permission for me to share what they wrote:
"The course has been transformative for me in a way I didn't anticipate."
"The course is far more than I expected. Previous visits to Mindfulness had me thinking I just need to plan more meditation into my day and that's me sorted. This course and approach has shown me so much more. I have been off work for a number of months, following illness and will return next week. I don't believe I would be returning next week without this course and we are still only half way through!!"
"It was Steve who got me into meditation after I saw him speak. I can sincerely say that the incorporation of mindfulness practice has enhanced all aspects of my life. My family have seen a big difference in how balanced I have become, I drink less and get less involved in my head dramas. It has also helped me prioritise my IBM work better. I try to work less hours but those hours are far more focused and when I do need to work long days from time to time I feel much more prepared to do so....for me the course could not be improved."
"...in the midst of chaos of work and home balance challenges, it enables worries to wash away like waves receding from the shores. This course has helped me with getting to a level of calmness (still working on it) in the midst of chaos and pressure of work life on one side & domestic life on the other. Taking a deep breath and stepping away from it all, I meditate and come back with a clearer head for dealing with issues."
"The course has had a huge positive impact on me, and by default, on my partner."
"I would say that I didn't expect a course of 8 weeks to result in such a mental transformation. I am so pleased I stuck with it......I am aware (awake, alive) in a way that I haven't been in years. It is liberating."
"You have no idea how much what we've learned in recent weeks has been of service to me in this last week. I wanted to take a moment to say thank you as what we've done so far on the course has already had a life changing impact for me and my family."
"Steve's calming and invitational learning methods have got me through the course and I have done more mindfulness and mediation that I ever dreamed was possible. I still have a long way to go but am confident that I will continue to practise alone and develop this skill which is increasingly necessary in this very frantic world we live in. Thank you Steve for kick starting my practice!"
"Steve Ware as a teacher of MINDFULNESS & LEADERSHIP comes very highly recommended, particularly to organisations that care about their employees from top and middle management to lower cadre."
"Steve is a great mindfulness facilitator and he has presented exceptional practical sessions as well as 8 week courses to IBM personnel. Steve has helped to develop mindfulness within IBM enabling its executives and employees to see the huge range of benefits to individuals and the overall business."
"The practice makes me feel as though I am freeing myself mentally. This has given me the space to recognise and address some long standing issues, both work and personal. Some of the issues were unexpected as I had thought of them as resolved, when they weren't.
Currently, I am communicating a lot better with my team, my colleagues and my manager. I am able to articulate what my possible work future could be after doing the course, which I wasn't able to do for several years."
"As I am calmer and more ordered at work, I am no longer ending my work days feeling drained. This has a positive impact on my personal life as instead of needing the entire weekend to switch off from the previous work week, I now find I switch off on Friday evening and have time and energy to do the things I can enjoy at home like crafting, gardening, catching up with friends, etc. This makes me feel happier and I am healthier, physically and mentally, too."
"Steve is a brilliant mindfulness facilitator and coach, presenting exceptional sessions to IBMers."
"Although I have worked from home for a very long time, I found the reporting of the pandemic and its impacts (such as not being able to go out when or where I wanted to go) overwhelming and was starting to worry about the consequences to my well being and work ethic. The opportunity to attend the course "Finding Peace in a Frantic World" in-house at IBM and taught by Steve Ware on Fridays over a period of 8 weeks, was just the tonic I needed."
"I cannot overstate the positive impact you and your teachings have made to my approach to life. Thank you so much."
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