Whilst we all might nod willingly when we hear soundbites such as "the quality of your mind determines the quality of your life", or agree vociferously with the sentiment of Socrates' famous dictum "the unexamined life is not worth living", how does this ever translate into something tangible? Could whatever this translates into ever be something that truly applies to us, both in the workplace and at home? Could this 'something' be accessible even in the midst of a global pandemic, and feel so normal, so mainstream, so entirely natural that we'd liken it to taking regular exercise or having a balanced diet? If so, what would this 'something' be?
Before I finally got around to trying mindfulness eight or so years ago, I was the nodding dog when I heard statements like those above. I would nod and agree that without a mind that has even some semblance of stillness, of downtime, of peace that it naturally would be a life barely worth living, and yet I did nothing about it. I was looking after my physical health, but my 'unexamined life' as Socrates put it became needlessly painful. Despite having everything I needed, the contentment, joy and freedom that I felt fairly consistently as a child seemed to be slipping through my fingers more and more, and was often exclusively reserved for big events like a visit to my favourite beach in Menorca or a party or celebration. In essence, I felt like I had a mind that would rarely settle, let alone ever switch off and leave me alone.
Browsing through a bookstore in the town centre, I found myself looking at books on meditation. Curiously, the conversation I was having with myself whilst thumbing through the various titles went something like this : "Really? You're going to try this new age stuff? You know it's for tree huggers and navel-gazers don't you, I didn't think you were either of those?" Fortunately the other half of that mental conversation won through, and I found myself at home reading Mark Williams and Danny Penman's "Mindfulness : a practical guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World". Little did I know, but this was to be the start of something *truly* special.
I was reading the book on a sun lounger in the garden and at a certain point I remember stopping reading, resting the book in my lap, looking around me and with the hairs on the back of my neck standing up thinking "not only is this describing me and my unruly mind, it's claiming that there's a scientifically proven way that I can do something about this...find more peace, feel more at ease, less wired, less anxious". I still had this notion that mental growth stopped in adulthood. Neuroplasticity? What's that? I thought that we could learn new things, naturally, but that our minds themselves didn't improve. I was of course, completely wrong, and I can't think of many other things I've been more happy to be wrong about.
And so began my mindfulness journey. Slowly to begin with, just a ten minute guided meditation for ten days. Then there was some reflection, was this doing anything? Was it worth my time? There were no bolts of lightening in those first ten days nor were there any great insights or revelations, but there was a little more peace. Strangely I had started sleeping a little better and when I looked back on it everyday stresses had started to bother me just a fraction less. This piqued my interest. Whilst still not convinced, I wondered if there might actually be something to this...
...it wasn't until I had meditated for another couple of years and read and listened to a whole host of other great mindfulness teachers that I felt compelled (and brave enough) to start sharing this with people at work who had expressed an interest. Whilst I wasn't shouting this stuff from the rooftops, they had noticed a change in me and I was consistently being asked to talk to people about what mindfulness was and how it might be helpful for them too. They wanted a bit of the peace I was re-discovering. It started with just the odd email here, or instant message there, and then came some invitations to present on the 'main stage' at large events to my colleagues. Every presentation went down well, a lot of people wanted this, and were ready for it.
I'd been at IBM my entire working life. I joined to embark upon a sponsored degree aged 18, and was still there 23 years later. I knew the culture and the people, I understood the corporate world better than most. I knew that if mindfulness and the workplace were ever going to go hand-in-hand I'd need to draw up some fundamental principles and stick to them. Mindfulness is too powerful, too precious, too significant to just pay it lip service. I promised myself that I was either going to do this properly, or not at all.
Principle #1 : Never mandate mindfulness
In the same way that you wouldn't dream of rounding people up and insisting on them exercising more or eating more heathily, telling someone that they *should* start meditating really doesn't work in my experience. I learned this one the hard way, trying to convince my family, friends, anyone who would listen to me to start with. I was in danger of being 'that meditation guy' you avoid at a party. Finally the penny dropped. I realised that most people that you talk to already have a 'should' list as long as yours. Theirs might contain things like 'I should work less hours', 'I should probably cut down on my drinking', 'I should really get to the gym more' or 'I should get more sleep'. They're probably not looking for anything else to add to that list, no matter how mesmerising your story, how rigorous your science, or how convincing your patter. Many people have said to me over the years 'Oh I'm sure I need this stress reduction stuff, I've just not got around to it yet' or 'Yeh I really *must* start reading that book and trying it out'. In order for mindfulness to be appreciated as the life-changing cornerstone that it is, people need to be ready. They will know when they're ready without you cajoling them or attempting to prescribe it to them.
Principle #2 : It has to be meaningful beyond the concepts
We are blessed these days with the most powerful measuring equipment that science has ever seen. This in turn has lent itself to an ever-increasing number of peer reviewed, double blind scientific studies which seem to suggest incredible results for both mind and body among regular meditators (if you're wondering what 'regular' means in this context, it's around 10 mins a day for a minimum of 8 weeks). Did you know for example that regular meditators have boosted immune systems and even age more slowly - meditation is linked to longevity and longer telomere length, a proposed biomarker of human ageing. Whilst this is incredible - mind blowing even - these and other facts about meditation will neither make you age more slowly nor boost your immune system. The old adage 'nobody got fit by listening to a talk on fitness' is eminently true when it comes to mindfulness. When I'm teaching I go as far as to ask people to not believe a word I say, for to just believe me without seeing what's true in their experience would be to completely miss the point of mindfulness. There are two types of knowing - conceptual and experiential. If you only know facts about mindfulness rather than know it as a direct experience you might be able to hold an interesting conversation at the dinner table but that won't help you when it's 4am and your mind decides it's time to lay awake worrying about your life. Equally, your interest in mindfulness will likely soon fade. So what can we do about it?
Principle #3 : You have to be able to fit it into your life NOW
Most of us know that as a species we think more than our ancestors ever did. A quick Google will hail wildly varying figures, but almost all articles agree that not only do we think more than we ever did, the vast majority of our thinking is repetitive, useless and potentially damaging. Despite having more technology than ever before we also have less spare time and a shorter attention span on average. So for mindfulness to work, for it to be part of the pantheon of good things that you do each day, it needs to be completely relevant and something that can be incorporated into your life now. Not next year when you've got all of this urgent stuff out of the way, right now. How do we do that when we're all trying to find less things to do not more?
The key is to find ways to embed mindfulness into your every day, not by doing different things but by doing things differently. To extrapolate on this point it might be helpful to distinguish between the terms 'meditation' and 'mindfulness' as I use them. Meditation to me is a distinct practice, a time that you set aside to engage in the process of practising focusing your attention where you want it to be. It's a training that allows you to experience (over and over again) stepping out of usual uninterrupted thought stream and resting in simple observation and awareness of the breath or body for example. Mindfulness is a particular way of doing what we were going to do anyway, so it's something that can be practised at any time. We are all naturally mindful to a greater or lesser extent. A simple example of mindfulness would be eating food. I'm sure we can all recall meals where we've wolfed down the food, it barely touching the sides and us hardly noticing the taste, texture or smell. Equally we can probably all recall times of eating that seemed to be magical, the flavours, smells and textures seeming so enticing and vivid. These two experiences are incomparable and whilst a factor is what you're eating, the bigger factor is where your attention is while you're eating. The most amazing steak could be missed if you were checking your email or lost in thought as you tucked in, equally a simple plate of tomato and basil could make your senses sing if you were truly present as you ate.
The best mindfulness courses, for example the University of Oxford Mindfulness Centre's "Finding Peace in a Frantic World" bring together beautifully the practices of meditation and mindfulness so that this whole endeavour feels manageable, beneficial and sustainable even in the midst of the busiest schedule. Many people have reported to me that the course gives them far more time back than their practice takes as they spend less time uselessly ruminating in thought or stressing over a past or future event.
Principle #4 : As as teacher you have to know your audience
There's nothing worse than being taught by somebody who doesn't understand you. Doesn't understand your busyness and stress, doesn't understand what it means to work for a company such as yours, and who is so entirely unrelatable that it seems you're from different planets or at least different eras. As a mindfulness teacher with almost thirty years' experience in the world's largest IT company I hope that I can see both sides of this picture. I know what it's like to work a stressful job and complete a mindfulness course at the same time. I understand the challenges of finding the time to keep up with the reading, or to practice a guided meditation. I also understand a mind that compares, that judges and that narrates almost incessantly. I know a mind that will tell me to embark upon a course and then 4 weeks into it tell me that in fact it's a waste of time, not working, or that everyone else is getting it aside from me. The greatest mindfulness teachers I've seen don't dress it up as a panacea, or as something trivial that requires no effort or commitment. They don't pretend that life will stop challenging you just because you've started meditating, or that you won't have to work as hard at this skill as you would any other. Whilst mindfulness is unquestionably the most profound, life-changing, beautiful thing I've ever done (and continue to do), it's also sometimes the hardest, requiring the most patience and courage I can muster. Knowing and understanding the people you are training is important in any class but all-important with mindfulness. If these people are going to come on an eight week journey of self-discovery with you by their side they need to trust you, and know that you've walked the walk too.
Principle #5 : Don't let the class size get too big
Some people like to talk a lot throughout a mindfulness course. They're excited to share their experience (good or bad) and they relish the opportunity to speak. Others prefer to say little or nothing throughout the eight weeks. My job as a teacher is to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome. Finding Peace in a Frantic World is neither therapy nor treatment for any specific psychological condition and there's no requirement to speak at all if you don't want to. Having said that people seem to get the most from the course if they open up a little, engaging with others in this safe and confidential space, and discussing how everything is going for them. That also helps us realise that most of us struggle with the same things, have the same crazy mind, and find it tricky to focus our attention on the breath for anything more than a nanosecond (at least to start with).
Whilst everyone will have an opportunity to speak in breakout rooms of 2 or 3 as you move through the weeks of the course, my observation has been that one of the most valuable components is the shared human experience - the ability to express whatever you'd like to express without feeling under time pressure. If your class is too big you might find that some people feel a little on the periphery, as if there's not enough space for them to participate as much as they'd like. Whilst acknowledging that class sizes will vary, my preference is to teach between 18 and 25 people at a time.
Principle #6 : It has to be fun!
'Life's too short to drink cheap wine' says the sign in a trendy bar near us. It's also too short not to enjoy the things we choose to do. How many of us would stick to a sporting activity we disliked just because we knew it was good for our health? How many of us would eat healthy food regularly if it always tasted like cardboard? Good habits I've stuck to for any length of time have to not only be good for me, they have to be enjoyable too.
The great meditation teacher Eckhart Tolle recently said 'If your teacher never smiles and laughs, find another one'. Whilst nobody would ever say that meditation is easy or doesn't require courage on occasion, life is tough enough without taking ourselves and our minds too seriously. When I'm teaching mindfulness I try to bring a lightness, an openness, a sense of humour to the training. Cultivating these attitudes are essential if you are to a) stick with it and b) enjoy doing it.
If you're interested in reading about my journey bringing mindfulness into one of the world's largest IT companies please see this blog entry :
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